so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
