that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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