O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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