that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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