I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
