Plan B is the new Plan A
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize