i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
