This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
