she pinky promised me she was 18
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
