Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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