Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
