She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
