You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
