Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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