I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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