I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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