matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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