It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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