If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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