Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
