belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
