anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
