we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
