How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
