He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
