A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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