Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
only you would photoshop your dick
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
