just come out here and I will go home with you...
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
