Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
