Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
