My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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