I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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