the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize