I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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