I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
this boner is exhausting
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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