why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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