I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
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