you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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