im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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