He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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