The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
