Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
