the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
