Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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