Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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