just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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