but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
