Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
MIDGETS
????
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
