talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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