are you still at the devil's house?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
