smell my finger.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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