Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
