She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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