a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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