my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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