Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
only you would photoshop your dick
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize