just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
