My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
