blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
