how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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