theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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