Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
No...this little piggys going to the bar
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
