I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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