Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
