you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
