Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize