Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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