Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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