I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
