Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You're like the curious george of whores
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
