Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
