Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
